It seems to me that the proper protocol for discussing, and, hopefully, refuting the idea that the desire for and practice of long-term orgasm denial is both pathological and devoid of erotic content is to first make a point about bias, then to isolate some pertinent terms, and express why these terms do or do not apply to extended chastity play. After some thought, the terms I’ve isolated are “erotic”, “pleasure”, “harm”, and “illness”. My discussion of those terms will come in future posts.
In this post, I will make a point about bias.
Let’s be clear about the fact that people often claim that a practice is universally unhealthy when what they really mean is that it doesn’t appeal to them, or that they can’t imagine what someone else gets out of it. It gives them a sort of nebulous feeling of unease, and frequently they confuse their personal distaste with concern for the healthfulness of the practice in general.
Those who are homophobic, for example, often focus on how “unnatural” it is to have anal sex, since the anus, rectum, and prostate were designed for other purposes. This is clearly nonsense. If all body parts were restricted in sex play according to their biological function, a lot of men with a breast obsession would find themselves disappointed, since the biological function of breasts is to provide nourishment for offspring.
Further, I would wager that a healthy number of males who castigate gay men for having anal sex have or would like to have anal sex with the women in their lives, or at least don’t think about what the ass is “for” when they watch male/female porn that includes anal penetration by the male. It probably goes without saying that not all gay men engage in anal play or anal sex, but that’s irrelevant anyway, because the point is that it’s not the anal sex that bothers homophobes, but the fact that it’s occurring between men.
So, following that example, when considering the sexual tastes of others, intellectually and sexually mature people should scrutinize themselves to be sure that it isn’t bigotry on their part that causes them to cast judgement on tastes they don’t share. And if they do find that it is their own irrational bias that causes their distaste for a sexual practice or identity, I believe that kink community ethics should dictate that the observation of good manners would encourage them to keep it to themselves.