“Heavy Metal music made my son commit suicide!”
I don’t remember what music group or unfortunate incident precipitated that sentence becoming part of the cultural lexicon, but it popped into my head when I was giving some thought to how I might begin to deconstruct the idea that extended chastity could be psychologically harmful. I think it makes for an apt analogy for the point I want to make. Just as I reject the idea that music, however filled with demonic or destructive images, could induce a person whose baseline psychology is stable to end their own lives or harm another, I reject the idea that prolonged orgasm denial could psychologically unbalance someone who isn’t already vulnerable.
This is not to say that it’s expected for long term orgasm denial to have a neutral effect on the psyche or the emotions. Being induced to separate oneself from something that has become ubiquitous in ones life, like masturbation and orgasm (particularly for males), can be as psychologically challenging as it is physically challenging. At the onset of chastity training, it’s normal for a male chastity pupil to experience anxiety and even cold feet. As time goes on, feelings akin to withdrawal–irritability, difficulty focusing, preoccupation with that which has become inaccessible to them, even feelings approaching desperation–are not unusual. For some, the adjustment period may prove too daunting to bear. But does experiencing these challenges, and even deciding that one cannot withstand them, mean that extended chastity causes psychological harm?
Of course not. If nothing else, it means that the prospective chastity slave was insufficiently motivated from the start to experience this type of surrender. But that’s not the fault of the fetish.
The psychological challenges associated with the choice to curtail and eventually cease orgasmic ejaculation for long periods of time are part of the reason a relationship with a chastity Mistress, or some other support system, is so valuable for those who who long for extended chastity success. Just as I opined regarding physical harm, training is designed to help someone push past the boundaries they only think are real, so that they can become stronger. This is as real in the life of the mind as it is in the life of the body.
It’s also just as important to take good psychological care of oneself throughout the experience as it is to take care of the body, and a relationship with a Mistress can contribute to that. But no matter how much a pet longs to please his Mistress, or trusts her guidance, a psychologically well-balanced person will never do something they know is wreaking intractable and seriously disruptive havoc on their life. Likewise, a Mistress will never encourage a person she suspects of being truly worse off either physically or psychologically for his participation, to continue.
Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below, and stay tuned for the next chapter, in which I discuss illness, specifically whether or not those who wish to embrace chastity training are sick somehow.
Another thought provoking installment in a great series! I’m wondering how many novice chastity slaves think they want this in the heat of fantasy, without realizing what they’re really getting into? I wonder if most of them would try to stick it out or do they decide it’s not for them and quit?
And I can’t WAIT for the next installment… Oh boy! 😉
jemmie
jemmie, thank you so much for hanging with Me through this series! I’m so glad to have your input, as someone currently in a chastity relationship with Mistress Constance, as well as someone with previous chastity experience to draw upon!
As to your musings about novice chastity slaves, I think it’s not much different than novices in any corner of the D/s-BDSM universe–sometimes the fantasy is more enticing than the reality turns out to be. This is why, *particularly* when a novice comes to Me and is extra gung-ho, I insist on starting with smaller increments of time, building up to larger ones. I don’t want to set a slave up to fail Me, or themselves for that matter. Even if we don’t continue on together, I don’t want them to leave our interface with a feeling of defeat. Surrender, yes. Defeat, no. *smile*
Of course you’re right. it’s all about that surrender. 🙂
jemmie
So on point, Rachel. Again, I haven’t experienced long-term chastity, but I have gone through what I consider long-term denial — not cuming but without the cage. In one case a month, other times weeks. That’s a lot for me. And it is so important BEFORE doing this to talk about it with your mistress, to understand what is going to happen, to deal with expectations on both parties’ parts. A good caller will not retreat at the first sign of difficulty, but will work with his mistress to push through it because he wants to succeed and please her. A good mistress will work with the caller to help him through what I consider some of the inevitable feelings you write about. She will understand the person who is doing this and what he is likely to need and be there for him. I agree the fetish itself doesn’t cause psychological harm, but the actions, reactions, and relationships of and between the people doing it can. As you said, both mistress and caller want this to succeed, but may have different ideas of how that is supposed to happen. Communication is the key.
I’m so happy you’ve decided to share your thoughts, bfla. Those with experience chiming in really add to the conversation, and your comments really resonate with me!