Another Loctober is drawing to a close. Did you participate? How did you do? First time? Or maybe you’re you pussy free and in chastity all year around (except for skin checks and cage cleaning of course), so Locktober is just like any other month. My guess is that for most of you, it’s somewhere in between.

Do you have a keyholder, or were you going by the honor system? Experience any challenges? Learn anything new about yourself?

I certainly learned new things about chastity subs, both My personal chastity by phone slaves, and those who’ve only been a source of schadenfreude. I try to learn something new every Locktober.

This year I learned that whether it’s a boy’s first time in chastity, or just the first time he’s been cock-locked for so long, it’s not unusual for him to go through something that matches up uncannily with The Five Stages of Grief.

Introducing the 5 Stages of Chastity Grief

In case you aren’t familiar with the five stages of grief, it’s a theory about mourning that a psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, developed and described back in the 60’s.

And that makes sense, doesn’t it?

She was talking about mourning a loved one. And not to make light of a serious and worthy topic, but while many men may not be in love with their cocks necessarily, they’re certainly fixated on them, their access to them, and the orgasms they might get from them. It’s not hard to imagine they could mourn the loss of those things almost as much!

Let’s go through the 5 Stages of Chastity Grief, and see how many, if any, you experienced this Locktober, or whenever you were new to chastity training. Or when you last were stretching to reach a new duration milestone.

I’ll also make suggestions as to how you can get through one stage or another. That way, maybe next Locktober, or the many months in between where you can and should be in chastity, will go more smoothly!

At least mentally.

Sound fun? Let’s begin.

Denial of Locktober

Usually this takes place from the time of commitment through the first week.

This can look a few different ways. Sometimes it’s thinking he can simply white-knuckle it, or worse, the type of overconfidence that has him scoffing at the challenge of being in a cock cage all month. Still others acknowledge that it will be difficult, but are so aroused by this level of submission to a chastity Femdom Mistress or self-emasculation, they think the erotic energy generated from that will be enough to carry them through.

I don’t like to psyche boys out, but I encourage them to prepare mentally well before their chastity locks go “click”. Certainly some dry runs in the months leading up to Locktober can be helpful in giving them some idea of what they’re in for, and get a taste of all the different aspects of chastity that makes a whole month of it (to the uninitiated) a challenge.

I offer full disclosure of what to expect, and urge them to take it seriously, because once that little padlock (or whichever type of chastity lock they choose) does go “click”, it’s like some sort of magic trick–it makes My empathy disappear!

Locktober Anger

This one is a little bit inaccurate. I know a boy or two who’s had a legit tantrum when the orgasm withdrawal really sets in, but I don’t know if I would call it anger necessarily. Even when he’s in the throes of blue balls suffering, My chastity slaves know to speak to Me respectfully and act with decorum. Because they also know that cbt and chastity go well together in My book, and I won’t hesitate to give them an attitude adjustment.

But it can be tough on the mood. Especially if he was a compulsive masturbator or gooner before. These guys underestimate how much they’ve come to rely on the endorphin rush and dopamine hit they get from masturbation, edging, and orgasm to regulate them.

Once the withdrawal hits, things can get rocky!

I suggest the penis-jailed simply ride this one out. It usually only lasts a week or so. Mindfulness meditation, mantras from Mistress, endurance trances, and other sources of the brain chemicals they might be missing, trying to get enough sleep, staying hydrated, and even things like dark chocolate can all help him ride the withdrawal wave.


When the balls get full and the desperation really sets in, that’s when the begging begins. Tends to happen around week three. That’s when the cock-locked start offering things, trying to make deals for just a bit of reprieve.

And this is the week when My pussy is usually wet almost all the time.

It’s the air humping. The plaintive tone to the voice. It’s the fiddling fruitlessly with the cage, trying to find some little scrap of stimulation. The moaning and cradling of the swollen balls.

This is My favorite week to receive oral servitude. Desperate, horny cock-caged minions are absolute demons at eating My ass and pussy.

If I’m feeling generous, or he’s made Me cum particularly hard, I might have him stick his bottom up in the air and give him a little prostate milking. If he manages to have an assgasm, it can help to alleviate some of the pressure. Or, he simply gets more desperate, and eats My ass and pussy even better!

Sounds like good outcomes to Me!

Depression and Acceptance

These often happen at the same time. Locktober boy is simply trying to count the hours, the days, until finally, freedom!

He often goes into a sort of downcast trance, where he’s no longer begging, no longer complaining, but simply trying to make it from one day to the next. He’s still productive, because where else does he have to focus? He can also become much more attached to Mistress, as submission and chastity go hand in hand.

But he can be kind of a downer. Even eating My pussy doesn’t perk him up!

That’s when I like to bring out the Hitachi. He may not be energized to week one levels, but at least the zombie-like moaning gets louder and more inspiring! A caged blowjob tends to give him a bit more pep as well, at least for a little while.

How about you?

If you participated in Locktober, did you experience the five stages of chastity grief? Or maybe you simply cycled back and forth between two or three. I’d love to know, so please do share in the comments!

As I set this to publish, it’s the wee hours of October 29. There are just three more days, chastity pets! Hold on just a little bit longer!

I’d like to congratulate all who completed the entire month for getting through it. And I would be honored to thoroughly drain your balls within the first couple of days of all the cum you’ve stored.

Unless you intend to keep going . . .

Because soon, it is NoNutNovember . . .

Get in touch either way! *giggle*


Goddess Rachel, Locktober Researcher