Hello, Horny Readers! I’ve ushered many a submissive through fulfillment of their kinky desires, many sissies among them. When a gurl is first trying to figure out why she enjoys pretty, frilly things, even though s/he probably lives hur public life as a male, I usually explain to hur My take on three common identities, to see if any of them ring true:
1.) The panty boi: Completely in touch with his masculine identity, enjoys being a man, usually considers himself heterosexual. He simply likes the feel of panties, has a fetish for them, or for humiliation through being coerced into wearing them.
2.) The crossdresser: May or may not be submissive, may or may not be specifically in touch with their feminine side. Usually their sexual orientation is not related to or informed by their attraction to femme clothing. Often they simply find the clothing comfortable or sexy, and the rituals of feminine grooming and dressing relaxing, arousing, or both. Sometimes their main interest is in women wearing the clothing, but in the absence of a woman willing to dress for them, they’ll dress for themselves (i.e. loves the look of a sexy pair of legs in thigh highs and stilettos, so grooms and dresses his own legs so that he can enjoy that visual and tactile stimulation).
3.) Transgender: These are simply women. They have a birth defect that, without treatment, makes their bodies appear different than their gender identity. Though like any other woman, they have their sexual tastes and interests, which may include submitting to another women, their identity is not a kink. This is about who they are, not about what turns them on.
4.) The sissy: The main thing that separates sissies from crossdressers is the desire to be submissive. They long to be someone else’s creature, under the control of a dominant personality, often with a bent toward humiliation. This can be through coerced feminization, masturbation control, anal play, coerced bisexuality, or even something as benign as domestic servitude. Really, anything that recreates hur in the submissive sissy image.
Now, most Mistresses will agree that some of Our playmates are a cross between two or more of these, or simply can’t be codified, and that’s okay. I do, however, have experience with some playmates who strongly identify as sissies, but they’re not necessarily looking to be told what to do. Mostly, they aren’t interested in being controlled, and are not responsive to consequences for poor behavior. If I had to describe what they seek from Me, it’s more like . . . a Femdomme wing-man. Simply someone to bear witness to their sissy exploits, and encourage them toward more. This is a sissy you can’t control, but only advise, if you want to keep hur around.
It’s kind of like having a dog who’s lovable but has failed every obedience class to which you’ve taken him. He responds to commands with the same uncomprehending, goofy-dog, panting grin as he does to praise. He keys in on certain keywords, but only with a question mark at the end, and not with an exclamation point. “Park? Treat?” Or in the case of the sissies to which I refer, “Shopping? Cock?” Neither pet ever learns to heel, so if you utter these keywords, you’d better have a firm hold of the leash and be able to run fast, because they are liable to bound off in the direction you indicate.
Sassy sissies sometimes do need to be reminded of My place, even if they choose their own.
They may not have come to a Mistress to be controlled, but I do often find Myself having to remind sassy sissies that they have still come to a Mistress. A domme. It’s important in the interests of the longevity of the relationship that I remind these spirited gurls that I am not “one of their bitches”. You know, “Bitch, I spent so much at Sephora yesterday . . . ”
It might be an accepted endearment these days between BFFs-about-town, but not between Myself and any sissy who calls for My suggestions or listening ear, what ever hur degree of independence. I may not get to tell such a sissy who s/he is, but s/he’d better know who I am. The lovable pup impervious to commands can still find himself crated, with only his own bed on which to vent his frustrations, and in the same way, sassy sissies who push their luck with Me can still find themselves with nothing but a dial tone.
But that rarely happens. *smile* Sassy sissies may be reckless, but they’re fun-loving. They may be willful, but they tend to be breezy and friendly, too. They embrace sissyhood from the same place their sassiness comes from, an unrestrained and over-the-top love for all things feminine. And if you’ve ever had a girlfriend you always had to pour into a cab at the end of the night because s/he didn’t understand the word “moderation”, you understand the appeal of sassy sissies, and why as aggravating as they can sometimes be, they are also irreplaceable.
And once W/e both came to understand each other, I can say I wouldn’t change My sassy sissy gurlfriends for the world!