Hello, Horny Readers! You all know I love impact play. Some of you might know that I enjoy all things vintage, from several eras. So it probably won’t surprise you to learn that I’ve become more and more intrigued by the Strict Governess trope in BDSM Femdom play. I’ve only had a few sessions that focus on this trope, but they’ve always been a gas!

A Strict Governess is slightly different than a strict Mistress. Also nuanced is the nature of the submissive who seeks Her type of specific control and influence.

Let’s explore, shall W/e?

Strict Governess vs. Strict Mistress

Both Femdom manifestations thrive on control and punishment, but the Strict Governess usually approaches both with a bit of condescending fondness. She is responsible for the care of the submissive, but also to see to it that he receives comeuppance for behavioral missteps.

A strict Mistress has slaves. A Strict Governess has charges.

With a strict Mistress, the slave’s impetus for following directions and general obedience is the glory and authority of the Mistress Herself. With the Governess and Her charge, it is to see to it that he is “good”. The Mistress looks forward to opportunities to mete out punishment because it amuses and arouses Her. The Governess is disappointed and perhaps even regretful when Her charge requires correction. At the same time, She firmly believes in corporeal punishment as a means of improving behavior and building character.

Style vs. Style

A strict Mistress, in the world of fantasy W/e create together, often wears something sexy and brutal when proverbially pinning you like a bug to a board for display and torment; lingerie or leather, etc. usually black.

A Governess usually wears something a bit more staid, though provocative in its own way. Her aspect can be more severe than sexy, though there may be a very subtle touch of the latter. She might also wear black, but more flesh is generally covered. Picture a crisp white blouse, buttoned all the way up to the neck and fastened with a brooch, and yet quite form-fitting, tucked into a knee-length pencil skirt which is also closely tailored. Think hair slicked back and secured in a tight, prim bun rather than a high, braided ponytail reminiscent of a bondage rope.

A Governess will usually wear nude stockings, and closed-toed heels, though those heels might be patent leather and highly polished. And the charge may well know that those stockings end in garters that connect to a confining panty girdle or corset, though he will likely never see either one. A Mistress might wear anything from spike-heeled boots to open-toed stilettos and anything in between. A Governess will generally never wear brightly-colored nail polish. If Her nails are long (the better to pinch you with for quick behavioral adjustment), they will rarely sport more than a french manicure.

What kind of submissive male seeks a Strict Governess?

Well, in My experience, he’s often a subject of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.


Almost all of My charges in My role as a Strict Governess are English.

I think this may be because the idea of having a Governess (as opposed to a nanny, which exists there and elsewhere but has a different cache) is a larger part of the cultural lore there than elsewhere. Further, because corporeal punishment was more common institutionally in the U.K., for longer than a lot of other places.

My pets from the Empire, therefore, are more likely to have nostalgic associations with an authority figure using spanking, caning, or paddling as a tool of correction.

But you needn’t be an English subject to desire a Strict Governess as opposed to a Strict Mistress. Sometimes it’s an attraction to the idea of the combination of punishment and nurturing that draws a certain type of submissive male. Sometimes it’s arch authority and the forbidden sexuality it protects which provides the allure. And I realize that that speaks to many of you, no matter where in the world you live.

Do you need a Strict Governess?

Does the idea of Her formality juxtaposed with your vulnerability, arouse you? Do you want a dominant woman to control you who is as invested in your improvement as She is in your punishment? Does it make you tingle to think of receiving a comforting caress after a vicious caning or over-the-knee bare bottom spanking? Are you more aroused by the idea of what you can’t see than what you can?

Well then, you and I might just need to construct O/urselves a nursery, where you wait as the footfalls of prim, sturdy heels approaching fills you with desire and dread in equal measure. You may need a Strict Governess.

And now you know where, and how, to find one!


Miss Rachel, Strict Governess for the wayward!


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