I think most of us can agree that almost everything is relative; That is, a term or a practice can be defined in as many ways as there are people to embrace them. This includes our individual ideas about the nature both of sensuality and of domination.
For some people, Domme is a formal title, achieved as a result of a certain amount of training or experience. I like to say that I came into my place among dominant women in a more organic, grass-roots manner: I simply discovered at one point in my life that I am naturally sexually aggressive, that I thrive on control. For me, the means of exercising that aggression, of achieving that control, are not always what one might expect of a Domme in the formal sense of the term.
The means by which I assert my desire for control in an erotic phone sex session is dependent on a few factors–one of them being the particular tastes of the caller seeking me out for a kinky phone sex session, and another being how much control you want to concede to me. I seek control of all of your senses, to find the heart of your desires, and then to exploit them to my satisfaction. It is the response that most gratifies me, whether that response is desperation, or ecstasy.
“What?”, some of you submissive men and gurls might say, “You are a Mistress! I do not concede control–you TAKE it!”
Well, I reply, consider the lore of the vampire. Specifically, the lore surrounding a vampire and access to your home. A vampire cannot come into your home unless you invite them. Did you know that? But once they are invited, a mere mortal is almost powerless against the pull of their seduction. They will drink their fill, and make you believe that it was all your idea, the offering of your neck. This is the essence of sensuality, to me. The enlightening of all of the senses, both my own, and yours, to secure your seduction, to achieve my ultimate aim.
Before I impress upon you that I will control your cock, that your balls are mine, that your capacity or even your right to pleasure is mine, I must ascertain that you want to give your cock to me, that you want your balls in my capable hands, and that your orgasm means nothing to you unless it pleases me. You must offer your neck, slutty boy, before I can sink my teeth in.
Believe it or not, I don’t dress in black silk and lace on most of the days of my life. Not every scenario that involves myself and a man from whom I desire satisfaction involves my most dominant mistress side. I go on dates and pursue lovers in much the same way your garden-variety young woman would. I have “vanilla” sex, and enjoy it immensely with the right man (or occasional lady *wink*).
But whether I am decked out for that date in my most tightly-laced corset and towering stilettos, or a sun dress and mules with my hair in a ponytail, I am wondering what makes that man ache. What ever causes that ball-tightening throb, I will seek it out. I will find it. And one way or another, his satisfaction becomes hinged . . . on mine.
Sensual Domination. What does it mean? What does it mean to you?