When you think about the phrase “Sensual Domination“, what images come to mind? When you are planning a sensually-oriented erotic phone sex session, what do you hope will occur?
I think most of us can agree that almost everything is relative; That is, a term or a practice can be defined in as many ways as there are people to embrace them. This includes our individual ideas about the nature both of sensuality and of domination.
For some people, Domme is a formal title, achieved as a result of a certain amount of training or experience. I like to say that I came into my place among dominant women in a more organic, grass-roots manner: I simply discovered at one point in my life that I am naturally sexually aggressive, that I thrive on control. For me, the means of exercising that aggression, of achieving that control, are not always what one might expect of a Domme in the formal sense of the term.
The means by which I assert my desire for control in an erotic phone sex session is dependent on a few factors–one of them being the particular tastes of the caller seeking me out for a kinky phone sex session, and another being how much control you want to concede to me. I seek control of all of your senses, to find the heart of your desires, and then to exploit them to my satisfaction. It is the response that most gratifies me, whether that response is desperation, or ecstasy.
“What?”, some of you submissive men and gurls might say, “You are a Mistress! I do not concede control–you TAKE it!”
Well, I reply, consider the lore of the vampire. Specifically, the lore surrounding a vampire and access to your home. A vampire cannot come into your home unless you invite them. Did you know that? But once they are invited, a mere mortal is almost powerless against the pull of their seduction. They will drink their fill, and make you believe that it was all your idea, the offering of your neck. This is the essence of sensuality, to me. The enlightening of all of the senses, both my own, and yours, to secure your seduction, to achieve my ultimate aim.
Before I impress upon you that I will control your cock, that your balls are mine, that your capacity or even your right to pleasure is mine, I must ascertain that you want to give your cock to me, that you want your balls in my capable hands, and that your orgasm means nothing to you unless it pleases me. You must offer your neck, slutty boy, before I can sink my teeth in.
Believe it or not, I don’t dress in black silk and lace on most of the days of my life. Not every scenario that involves myself and a man from whom I desire satisfaction involves my most dominant mistress side. I go on dates and pursue lovers in much the same way your garden-variety young woman would. I have “vanilla” sex, and enjoy it immensely with the right man (or occasional lady *wink*).
But whether I am decked out for that date in my most tightly-laced corset and towering stilettos, or a sun dress and mules with my hair in a ponytail, I am wondering what makes that man ache. What ever causes that ball-tightening throb, I will seek it out. I will find it. And one way or another, his satisfaction becomes hinged . . . on mine.
Sensual Domination. What does it mean? What does it mean to you?
Hello Miss Rachel,
This is a interesting post, particularly the “vampire in the home” analogy. I think I understand your point that a bit of acquiescence from your callers or “players” makes for a more satisfying two way “power exchange” with both parties’ eyes wide open, as opposed to your “Mistress takes it” alternative.
Great to see your blog up and running,
I’m sorry, Castaway! I thought I’d replied to this. Maybe I did, but elsewhere. 🙂
Suffice it to say that it seems as if you really understand the essence of give and take, even if the goal is for one to relinquish control, and the other to take it.
i m associating sensual domination with tease and denial:)
And that’s certainly one of my favorite means of exploring sensual domination, so agreed, mistress!
Thanks for writing!
For me I think of sensual domination as guided masturbation, with teasing and edging…and then when you have me to the point I can’t take it anymore….you make me do something silly or kinky to earn my release as you watch me on webcam. This is probably the ADD version in that I only give over control of how I stroke, what I do and when you let me cum for the duration of the call…and have to release by the end of each call. Of course the more subtle domination is that afterwards I can’t get it out of my mind and can’t wait until I can call again and be controlled during our call.
Mmmm. I love the subtlety of your take on domination in the context of a guided masturbation session, PlugerBoy! Especially the part where you indicate that the memories of the best calls linger long after you’ve said goodbye, and therefore, so does the hold a Mistress has on you.
Mistress Rachel I do love sensual domination so much more than strict domination. I don’t want to be forced to do something. If you are forcing me to do something I am doing it against my free will which means I am not really giving you anything. But sensual domination, I am giving you something of my own free will, and you are not forcing me to give it to you. So it is something you want, and I am willing to give…makes it so much more sexy. But in reality, being as sexy and seductive as some of you women can be…I think I may not be giving you something of my own free will…you just might be taking it. Great blog post…especially loved the vampire in your house anology
I’m so glad you related to this, Matty!
Since I’ve been here at LDW, I have discovered that sensuality can be expressed in a more strict fashion, putting a boy through his paces, commanding respect from those who need a tight hold on the reins in order to feel secure. But I do agree that in the end, even the most extreme manifestations of domination begin with a need to submit on the part of the submissive, the irresistible urge to step off into the abyss of another’s will, and trust that even if through trial, you will end up where you wanted to go!
You are wonderful! Your sensuality! Your articulacy!
Do you agree with me that pain is as much part of sensuality as pleasure? Do you like a ‘dominee’ to undergo pain FOR you. Do you relish his whimpers? Do you rejoice in his pleas for mercy? Pleas which you do not grant.
If so, then you are indeed a heavenly being.
I do agree that pain can be just as much a part of sensuality as pleasure! Indeed, the lines between the two get blurred sometimes. Some people need and desire a more direct and abrupt awakening of the senses than others, and it is my pleasure to facilitate that!