Hello, Horny Readers! Here’s another field report from My Femdom phone sex experiences that promises to edify all to whom the lesson applies! It concerns a boy who called all hot and bothered from looking at My photos and listening to My audios. His penis, if you could call it that, was nice and stiff, and his breathing erratic, as soon as I said “hello”. Before I understood that he needed a dose of sph reality, he asked Me to describe how he and I would get it on in the flesh.
Whoa, cockstroker. Not so fast.
First of all, as many of you know, I don’t do GFE sessions (see the FAQ). Aside from My boyfriend and no matter how big your cock is, I am a domme to all comers (or, as they hope, “cummers”). The assumption, therefore, that there exists a universe or dimension in which W/e would “get it on” was noisome in and of itself.
Sometimes I’ll humor a boy, such as in certain guided masturbation sessions, but I prefer to have measurements. If a boy is undersized and doesn’t want to be humiliated for it, it’s best that he lie, because I won’t.
In this case, My femdomme spidey senses were tingling, and I knew it was more important than ever to confirm.
“So you’d like to fuck Me, huh?” I asked in a sultry whisper.
Yes, Goddess. Oh yes.
“Mmmmm. Well I like to fuck. But I’m a size queen. Can you measure up?”
Queue lots of hemming and hawing, followed by, Well how much do you need?
“That,” I advised him, “depends largely on what you hope for.”
I might interact sexually with an SPH pet, but probably not the way he hopes.
Well, I coerced him into revealing the vital statistics, and knocked off half an inch as I always do; Boys tend to lie about four things:
- Their height
- How much money they make
- How tall they are
- The size of what’s between their legs
That left him with a sad, sph -worthy 5 inches. A chode, but 5 inches nonetheless.
“I’m so terribly sorry,” I told him, My words dripping with saccharine, “but I would never allow something that small anywhere near My pussy. It kind of turns Me off just to look at it, so I might not even be able to get wet even if I was willing to fuck it. Which I’m not.”
He was willing to take anything he could get, as boys like him are wont to do. A saltine cracker is a feast to a starving man, after all.
And he did buy Me something nice from My wish list.
He also begged so nicely for any morsel of physical contact I might be inclined to make with his unfortunate little wiggly worm that My innate magnanimity simply spilled over. *giggle*
It was too fat to fit in between My first and second toes, and anyway he couldn’t promise that he would refrain from getting his icky chode cream on My instep. So, I settled on a hand job.
While wearing one of those thick, yellow latex kitchen gloves. *bright smile*
I would also have to avert My eyes, but he would be allowed to look at My cleavage.
As an sph slut, that was all he needed to hear before he came to a noisy climax at the other end of the line.
You know better, sph slut.
But hope springs eternal, and the libido of a man makes him foolhardy sometimes, so I don’t mind outlining the parameters for those who need to know.
I try to be kind, I try to be generous, but I insist that you be realistic. After all, if I were going by the letter of the law of the Femdomme universe, every one of you under 6 thick inches would be locked in chastity.
Despite My naturally kind, generous and understanding nature, you must always account for the x-factor: Mistress’ whim. If I’m feeling crabby, I might not even let you masturbate, much less have any contact with you Myself.
But if I am so inclined, be grateful, not delusional, for what ever sexual attention you might get!
Are you curious about what you might get if the stars align, pigs fly, you need a parka in Hades, and Mistress is feeling particularly kind? Well whip out your measuring tape, knock off half an inch on principal (some of you will cram the metal end so hard into your pelvic flesh it will leave a permanent mark), and listen in below! #MeanMistress #Cruel2bKind
Miss Rachel, apprising you of sph reality, always!
Wow! What a great ‘sph’ post. I don’t know why i crave the humiliation of being reminded how unworthy my itty-bitty-clitty is of ever being in a woman….but i do so LOVE it! It also helps me understand why i NEED to be ‘pussy free’ for LIFE! Thanks for being the Superior Goddess you are!
I actually think there is a lot of truth to this. I thought it in high school but it really hit me in college. It seemed like many guys had a sort of “quiet confidence” – not boastful or big headed but just calm and confident. I feel like maybe there is some biologic connection between that and their endowment. I saw some of those guys in the shower and honestly I felt like a little girl by comparison. You try not to look – there is nothing worse than being “impressed” by other guys. But what really did it to me is hearing that girls thought about this. Girls honestly do like endowed guys or guys who are at least “average”. I honestly believe they treat little guys differently and are more “bossy” with us.
Leave it to Miss Rachel to make the yellow kitchen glove arousing…. #letitthrob
*giggle* I might make an exception for you, Wessypoo, and NOT use the glove!
You have seen the Truth & can do any thing to me
When i was a young boy i had the longest schlong in the neighborhood. For real.i showed almost everybody.I would go with my parents to a restaurant when i was 4 & had 2 pee and get it out before i hit the mens room door .My dad said put that away till you get in the bathroom.Once went to yankee stadium & he said at the urinal cover it up like hold your hand over it like a roof cover so men can’t see it so i did.How did i end up like this? I guess watching Gilligans Island think about a girl in 3rd grade grinding the Mattress.Felt the urge to pee and jizzed.I thought it was infected at first nut it felt good.Then i started humping the pillow.I was never a puller.