Hello, Horny Readers! Collared servitude has been an unusually common topic of conversation around the Empire lately. A few prospective subbies have even gotten in touch over the past couple of months to express their desire to wear My collar. And whether it’s just a coincidence, the kink version of “cuffing season”(pun unintended), or the manifestation of a desire some subbies may feel to have something to hold onto in uncertain times, I’ve decided that this is a sign from the Femdom Universe that I should probably speak to My stance on collaring a submissive.

Collaring a submissive means different things to different people, whether in the flesh or via distance domination. This post will obviously concern the latter.

Please keep in mind as you read that I’m sharing My opinions and convictions only. Don’t read this and think you’re getting a line on what any other Mistress thinks or feels about it.

I may even be an outlier. But it wouldn’t be the first time, and I’ve never minded.

Fair?

Let’s get into it by posing two questions:

• What does collaring a submissive mean to Goddess Rachel?
• Does Goddess Rachel collar submissives in distance domination?

I’ll go ahead and spoil the answer to question 2 right off the bat, with the hope that you’ll still stick around as I expound:

No.

But let’s be clear on the type of collaring I’m talking about: real time and real life. Literally putting a physical collar on a submissive, or some other kind of physical symbol, hard to remove, on their person that denotes My ownership.

And daily subjection to what I desire.

This is the type of servitude I’ve been asked about lately. You’ll see that I’m more than willing, and greatly enjoy roleplays and storytelling around the idea of submissive servitude, but it’s the “real thing” that’s under discussion.

I intend to explain how I differentiate, and what’s brought Me to My “no”, in the course of this post.

Whether you’re curious, or one of those who have flattered Me by expressing a desire for this level of belonging to Me, and to whom I promised a fuller explanation behind My “no” as delivered in private, I hope you’ll stick around and hear Me out..

Collaring a Submissive: What Does It Mean to Me?

First and foremost, I  take slight issue with the term “collared submissive”.

Why?

To My mind, a submissive who wears My collar is a slave.

If you understand that right off the bat, it’ll make assimilating the rest of My take easier.

You may see Me, as well as other Mistresses, use the terms “submissive” and “slave” interchangeably around the Empire. I’m not surprised, therefore, if you’ve begun to conflate the two in your own mind, and I wouldn’t blame you if you were confused!

I can’t promise I can break Myself of the habit of using these terms interchangeably once in a while. But the fact is, I believe a submissive and a slave aren’t the same.

So let’s continue with a dig into those distinctions according to Yours Truly!

Slaves and submissives: what’s the difference?

A submissive usually comes to Me to be controlled or trained in play. He may do so on a regular basis. He may be subject to assignments from time to time, even for a protracted period of time (like My Week of Cock Control, for example).

Other than that, how often W/e engage depends on his schedule, inclination, and dare I say, budget.

A slave, on the other hand, would be expected to do what I tell them to do, when I tell them to do it. No excuses, and (pre-collar vetting for hard boundaries and conflicting real-life obligations notwithstanding) no negotiations.

Furthermore, I would still respect a slave’s safewords. Rebellion, failure to complete assigned tasks, or to complete them to My specifications, however, would invariably result in punishment.

By the way, the reason behind the safeword use would have to be more than the equivalent of “I don’t feel like it.”

But let’s return to punishment for a moment.

So there’s punishment. What’s so special about that?

It may surprise you to read that I may or may not punish a submissive for failure to obey. It depends on their kinks.

There are submissives who enjoy impact play. They hope pain will be part of O/ur play, no matter what else W/e might do. Likewise, there are those for whom pain is a hard boundary.

There are plenty of submissives who aren’t into humiliation of any kind, and would find being subject to punishment humiliating. And there are still others who don’t care to be upbraided for any misstep at all. They just want to experience what they feel they can handle of their kink, and let it be.

I would feel bound to respect their preferences in that regard.

So to summarize, with a submissive, a punishment component isn’t a given. And if it is on the table, they get some say in the form.

With regard to the slave, punishment of some kind would be de rigueur.

Impact play isn’t the only way of rendering punishment, of course, but it tends to be the method that comes to My mind first in slave correction.

I find that cbt, corrective spanking, nipple torment or the like are the most, even if not the only, effective method. Pre-collar negotiations might allow them some say in whether this or another form of punishment would be used instead, but there would have to be something.

And it would have to be something they didn’t like.

Punishment: Optional vs. Essential, Submissive vs. Slave

Of course, both a submissive and a slave can be disobedient. So why is punishment ubiquitous for one, and dependent on individual kinks and tastes for the other?

I’ll try to explain:

When a submissive balks at a direction, or straight-up doesn’t follow one, I tend to think they’re cheating themselves. Cheating themselves out of the fullness of what they came to Me to experience.

But, if a slave, someone who ostensibly belongs to Me lock, stock, and barrel, were to disobey or fail, I would feel they’re cheating Me.

Now why is that, you may ask?

It’s simple, really: D/s protocols and etiquette notwithstanding, My main goal in My distance domination sessions is helping a submissive to enjoy their kinks. To experience what they want to experience.

I get a great deal of pleasure out of helping them do so of course, including the pushing of soft boundaries.

That said, My pleasure is mostly a byproduct. My distance domination sessions, whether it’s My sweet side, My sadistic side, or somewhere in between that they want to experience, are about the submissive.

(Gee, I almost feel like I’m betraying trade secrets in admitting that!)

That’s not to say that I don’t allow Myself any boundaries; any submissive who’s played with Me will tell you that I do have them, and feel empowered to insist on them. It simply means that once W/e’ve understood each other’s boundaries, the underlying goal is to see the submissive satisfied.

On the other hand, I would expect that both I, and My hypothetical collared property, would be focused on what pleases Me.

Collaring a Submissive: Slave tasks

You may be anticipating endless pussy worship sessions or the like. But that’s seldom the type of thing I’d require.

In fact, their tasks would usually have little or nothing to do with what they enjoy erotically.

Unless that’s to be ignored until I summon them.

Just kidding!

(Kind of. 😛)

Seriously speaking (once again, hard boundaries and safewords notwithstanding), My slave would often find themselves doing things they find tedious or even unpleasant, simply because it amuses or benefits Me somehow. And even then, I’d expect whatever it is to be done well, whether they enjoy doing it or not.

I mean, what’s the point of collaring a submissive if they aren’t truly useful? 😆 After all, I can give Myself orgasms. What I need are things like the following:

• The re-tweeting My original posts on Twitter/X (or re-skeeting, if you’re on Bluesky, and YES, that’s what they’re called 😆)
• Thoughtful, substantive comments on ALL of My group blog and personal blog posts
• Sharing of these posts to their kinky circles outside of the Enchantrix Empire, and creating those circles if they don’t have them already for the sole purpose of widening My reach
• Listening to My podcast and likewise sharing
• The use of whatever skills he may have for My benefit, i.e. an artist will make art depicting Me for use in My blog posts, a musician will record original works about Me that I can use on My podcast or elsewhere, etc.
• Research on something I need or want to know about but don’t have time to research Myself, along with the preparation of a synopsis
• Writing guest posts for this blog

Yes, the kind of slave I would want would be more a personal assistant than a sex toy.

Mostly.

Erotic Collared Slavery

Of course, what a slave would do or be for Me would have its sexy components. The difference is, I would feel entitled to have them submit to things because *I* find them sexy.

For example and as previously stated, while a submissive is under My control for the duration of a session, or in a pre-arranged manner, I would own the sexuality of a collared slave completely, in and outside of sessions.

That doesn’t work very well if you’re, say, married, does it?

But just for argument’s sake, what might that look like?

If I wanted you to edge simply so that I could enjoy your desperation, you’d edge.

If I wanted you locked in chastity for an extended period of time, you’d be cock-locked.

Do you watch a certain type of porn while you masturbate? If I didn’t like it, you’d watch something else, and learn to get off to it or remain frustrated.

And sometimes the physical control I would require wouldn’t be sexual.

For example, if I didn’t like your haircut, you’d change it.

Yes, it would be that intense!

Every. Fucking. Day. 24 hours per day. 7 days a week. 365 days per year.

In order to truly sink into collared slavery that intensely, I think you need to be one of the rare few who consider it more a calling than a kink. Furthermore, I think it’s best that I have actual, physical control of you that isn’t dependent on your will.

That’s very difficult (and perhaps unrealistic) to accomplish in the flesh, let alone in a distance domination dynamic.

So let’s return to the original pre-emptive answer, and give a few more details.

Collaring a Submissive in Distance Domination?

Consider this: I have submissives, but not slaves, in My fleshly life. That said, if I were going to enslave a sub, it would be much more likely in the flesh. It greatly expands the ways in which a slave can be useful to Me, and takes My level of control from theoretical to complete.

True slaves are rare. That’s just a fact. Few submissives truly have slave hearts, the desire to surrender all, every aspect of their life and being, to the service of a dominant.

Or they may have the desire, but are simply unwilling or unable to relinquish the things that stand in the way of making it happen.

To do so for a distance domme? That’s even harder to find.

Don’t get Me wrong: that’s okay!

I don’t share that contention as a criticism. It just is what it is.

I’ve had occasion to share My views around collaring a submissive in private, and have had a few prospective collars come back to Me and say things would be different with them. Beg Me to give them a chance.

I’ve relented a time or two.

It’s never worked out. And I’ve become okay with that, because I don’t expect it to. But before I came to that level of peace, I was bitterly disappointed every time.

You know what? Just this moment, I think I’ve realized something.

C’mon, it’s just fantasy play.

I completely respect the fact that this may be all it is to you, even with a collar of leather or chrome locked around your very neck. But unless you’re talking about roleplay, that’s not all it is to Me.

That’s the epiphany I think I just had, that to Me, collaring a submissive and making them My slave is the assumption of a different level of relationship. It may be the closest I could come to having a committed relationship with a sub, akin to the one I have with My boyfriend.

So I guess I’m admitting that as Me-focused as the relationship would be, it’s not like wouldn’t cost Me anything. Aside from mental and emotional energy, it would cost Me, believe it or not, a level of vulnerability and commitment that playing with, or even becoming fond of, a submissive doesn’t require.

Maybe what the few times I’ve tried it has taught Me is that when I prepare to commit like that, to invest on that level, and a slave fails Me, it costs Me more than I’m willing to part with. Especially when, if the slave chooses, they could just disappear into the ether, stop responding to My E-mails, and never call Me again.

I don’t think anything of it when a submissive does that, save for missing them or wondering what became of them and hoping all is well. And I hope that based on what I’ve shared in this blog post, you can see why.

YMMV

I’m well aware, as I stated at the start, that others both in the flesh and in distance domination, think differently about collared slavery. I understand that many kinksters are able to find and maintain Mistress/slave relationships that are fulfilling according to the needs and nature of both. And I’m both tickled by and have great admiration for those relationships.

Maybe it’s just not something I’m capable of.

But, this is all about the collaring a submissive according to Me alone.

And now you know.

If you’ve had your mind set on wearing My collar, I hope you can see that fantasizing about it within the confines of a session may be all W/e have, but that this is probably for the best. What’s more, I will always strive to make that fantasy as satisfying for you as possible.

Please feel free to get in touch via Skype (enchantrixrachel), E-mail (Rachel@enchantrixempire.com) or right down there in the comments with any further questions or thoughts you might have.

I’ll do My very best to answer them.

Thanks for reading!

1-800-356-6169