Goddess Rachel wants to know if you have a pin dick or chode! 1-800-356-6169Hello, Horny Readers! If you have a small penis, is it a pin dick, a chode, or somewhere in between? Do you know the difference? And in the end, does it matter?

Let’s find out!

The end of Masturbation May approaches, and as usual, little dicks are the last to be considered!

I’m kidding, of course (kind of), but I’m finally getting around to exploring an idea: Are all small penises the same?

I say no. On one end of the spectrum are pin dicks, and on the other, chodes. While both are pathetic, each is unique in its capacity to disappoint!

So let’s define them for the record, and maybe see whether or not W/e can conclude if one is more unfortunate than the other, shall W/e?


What is a chode?


The definition according to My small penis classification system is, any male appendage under 5.5 inches in length, and somewhere around 5 inches in girth. In short, a chode is short but fat. Many men with a chode comfort themselves with the theory (mostly propagated by charitable women, I admit) that girth is more important than length. I somewhat agree, but there are limits to My acquiescence.

A chode may make a woman feel opened wide, but it still falls short, literally, in terms of providing that filled-up feeling. It’s like, you may get the initial surge of pleasure, but then you’re left frustrated and waiting for deeper penetration. It’s a bait-and-switch! Playing with My pussy’s emotions!

And She doesn’t take kindly to it!

I do the teasing around here, thank you very much!

Also, over a certain girth, most women find a chode uncomfortable. Part of your pussy is stretched, and then is forced to collapse around the empty space sans dick above the head of the chode!

Imagine sitting on a soup can, and you’ll understand what I mean.

Well, on second thought, some of you butt sluts might like that.

But the terrain of the sacred Yoni and the dignity of womankind usually requires less asymmetrical dimensions.

Further, a chode, as hinted at above, seems to have improperly emboldened a whole swath of men. They deny that they have a small penis, because they have a sometimes impressive girth.

Don’t say you have a big dick and then pull out something that looks like a butt plug!

Lies! *giggle*


What is a pin dick?


Are you hung like a lipstick?

Go grab a tube of it, if you have access, or a lip balm, or even a bic lighter and hold it up next to your junk. If they look at all similar, you, My friend, have a pin dick!Goddess Rachel wants to know if you have a pin dick or chode! 1-800-356-6169

The length of a pin dick is usually similar to that of a chode. But in My book, if it’s too thin, even 7″ can be a disappointment! You are equally as deceptive as Mr. Chode if you tell a woman you have a big dick and pull out something that looks like the handle of a mixing spoon!

A true  pin dick, however, is both short and thin. 5.5 inches or under, and 3-ish inches in circumference. Usually I simply call them clitori.

After I’m done shuddering, that is.

Like the chode, charitable women have been known to say that it’s excellent for clitoral stimulation. They pretend that simply having something the size of a bullet vibrator rubbing up and down against their own clit is delightful.

Yeah, okay.

A pin dick would never get anywhere near My vagina, so I wouldn’t know.


So which one is worse?


Is it the one you don’t feel enough of, or the one you can’t feel at all? On one hand, one is frustrating, and the other is a waste of My time.

Which one would disappoint Me more in the case of false advertising? Probably the pin dick. Because let’s face it, the pin dick is a total lie, length AND width-wise.

Which one looks the most ridiculous perched on top of normal-sized balls when you get naked? The pin dick.

At least with a chode, I would be able to enjoy a few moments of blissful delusion that perhaps it’s a grower and not a shower.

Which one can be compensated for, and which one should simply be locked away in chastity and forgotten about?


But, I’d settle for long sessions of humiliating tease and denial!

So, whip out your measuring tape, and reveal your diagnosis in the comments.

Do you have a pin dick, or a chode?



Goddess Rachel, Small Penis Warden