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Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169Hello, Horny Readers! So, Femdom degradation. Yes. Let’s talk about that.

We’re all friends here, despite what W/e may or may not get up to in session together. I’m actually very fond of all of My playmates. After all, I have a need for domination that can only be fulfilled by a submissive. I’m grateful at the very least.

But not everyone understands all aspects of My nature; I can be soft and sensual as I wield control, or I can be very cruel. I don’t mind saying that I’ve reduced a boy or two to tears just through the power of My words.

But don’t pity them–it’s what they wanted.

Some submissives don’t just want to be humiliated. Some have a longing to be utterly degraded.

Femdom degradation isn’t for everyone. I don’t expect it to make sense to those whose cup of tea it’s not. But some of you might be curious as to why it IS the cup of tea of others.

What is Femdom degradation?

Most of the time, people understand degradation by differentiating it from humiliation. Humiliation can be light and teasing or quite severe. To My mind, however, it’s not based on dehumanizing another person. Femdom degradation is about controlling, manipulating, and debasing the sense of self-worth. The two can often be used in concert with each other, but there’s a subtle yet distinct difference.

When I’m taking someone through a humiliation session, I might have them do something, admit something, or talk about something that both arouses and shames them. The most familiar type is small penis humiliation. I’ll tell a boy how inadequate his pee pee is in various ways, and make it clear that there are certain things he can or cannot do, should or shouldn’t do, because of it.

In degradation, it’s not the small penis that’s inadequate.  It’s the person it’s attached to (in the Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169context of fantasy), because of it.

I know some of My more tender-hearted readers are cringing at the thought. I understand. But you must accept the fact that this is something that some submissives seek, need, and from which they get immense satisfaction and relief.

Why would someone want to experience Femdom degradation?

I’ve read about this a lot, because believe it or not, I didn’t always understand it either. In My neophyte Domme days, I shied away from a lot of degradation play. I don’t really cotton to causing what I feared would be an intractable existential crisis in another person. But what I came to understand is that Femdom degradation is rather like impact play for the mind.

Many people don’t understand why someone would get satisfaction from experiencing different levels of physical pain. I’ve written about it extensively here, but in short, pain can be bracing, exhilarating, and even pleasurable for some people. The flood of endorphin with which the body responds in reaction to physical pain is intoxicating and potent. Also, intruding on a person’s physical security can be the only way they can reach subspace, a place of comfort and surrender. It can be tremendously cathartic. Femdom degradation can have the same effects, but the beating is sustained by the psyche rather than the flesh.

Femdom degradation coerces some into facing their deepest fears.

There’s another layer when the assault is psychological. Some of the deepest fears and insecurities people have about themselves are buried in the mind, rather than the body. Femdom degradation can be a kind of exposure therapy to these fears, insecurities, and compulsions. The more one is coerced to face them, to hear the indictment from another voice besides the one trapped in the confines of their own brain, the less potent it seems to become in reality.

Sometimes such a psychological assault can trigger a strengthening of self-preservation, the voice inside that says, “This is not true, what Mistress is saying.  Not really.  This is just play, as hard as it is to hear, and it’s no more a reflection of reality in My brain than it is when Mistress is saying it.  I don’t have to be afraid of this indictment anymore. I can endure the voice, and survive.”

Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169How do I prepare a Femdom degradation slave to minimize harm?

First, as with many types of D/s play, a sense of trust must be established between Myself and a submissive. Femdom degradation play is not the sort of thing I’ll delve into deeply with someone I don’t know or haven’t had the chance to speak with a bit outside of the playspace. I need to get the sense that the person with whom I’m speaking has a generally solid sense of self, that they aren’t depressed or mentally ill or malignantly self-destructive. If I’m not satisfied that this is the case, I won’t engage in Femdom degradation play.

Second, I insist on the articulation of boundaries, both theirs and Mine. A slave may say they have no boundaries, but I do. I’ve learned a lot about human nature over My time as a Femdomme, but I am not a psychiatrist, and there are some topics so heavy that I don’t believe I can ethically explore them in a phone sex session of any kind.

Safewords and Aftercare

Third, I insist on the development and use (if need be) of a safeword, and articulate My commitment to respecting it.

Last, I insist that Femdom degradation slaves do not hang up when they’ve reached their limit for the session, whether through orgasm or the safeword or simply fatigue. Even if all they do is breathe deeply with Me for a few minutes when they want to stay floating in subspace, if they simply hang up, I will not have the opportunity to do any sort of aftercare, and will worry that they are really emotionally injured. If they cannot commit to this, or at least to checking in with Me by E-mail or text later to assure Me that they are okay and simply prefer to lick their psychological wounds privately, I won’t do future sessions with them.

So now you know.Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169

I hope this post has been edifying for some of you who were curious. I also hope that it informs those of you who may have been contemplating a Femdom degradation session with Me of what’s required, and where My boundaries lie.

If you are a submissive who seeks out degradation as part of your Femdom play, please feel free to weigh in in the comments regarding anything that particularly resonates with you in My post, and anything you may like to add.

All opinions are welcome, but kink-shaming is not, so as you comment, please be respectful, and understand that while you still may not relate to this particular kink, it’s not your place to judge those who do.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Miss Rachel, for Femdom degradation, and sensitive aftercare.

1-800-356-6169