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Femdom Degradation: Why?

Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169Hello, Horny Readers! So, Femdom degradation. Yes. Let’s talk about that.

We’re all friends here, despite what W/e may or may not get up to in session together. I’m actually very fond of all of My playmates. After all, I have a need for domination that can only be fulfilled by a submissive. I’m grateful at the very least.

But not everyone understands all aspects of My nature; I can be soft and sensual as I wield control, or I can be very cruel. I don’t mind saying that I’ve reduced a boy or two to tears just through the power of My words.

But don’t pity them–it’s what they wanted.

Some submissives don’t just want to be humiliated. Some have a longing to be utterly degraded.

Femdom degradation isn’t for everyone. I don’t expect it to make sense to those whose cup of tea it’s not. But some of you might be curious as to why it IS the cup of tea of others.

What is Femdom degradation?

Most of the time, people understand degradation by differentiating it from humiliation. Humiliation can be light and teasing or quite severe. To My mind, however, it’s not based on dehumanizing another person. Femdom degradation is about controlling, manipulating, and debasing the sense of self-worth. The two can often be used in concert with each other, but there’s a subtle yet distinct difference.

When I’m taking someone through a humiliation session, I might have them do something, admit something, or talk about something that both arouses and shames them. The most familiar type is small penis humiliation. I’ll tell a boy how inadequate his pee pee is in various ways, and make it clear that there are certain things he can or cannot do, should or shouldn’t do, because of it.

In degradation, it’s not the small penis that’s inadequate.  It’s the person it’s attached to (in the Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169context of fantasy), because of it.

I know some of My more tender-hearted readers are cringing at the thought. I understand. But you must accept the fact that this is something that some submissives seek, need, and from which they get immense satisfaction and relief.

Why would someone want to experience Femdom degradation?

I’ve read about this a lot, because believe it or not, I didn’t always understand it either. In My neophyte Domme days, I shied away from a lot of degradation play. I don’t really cotton to causing what I feared would be an intractable existential crisis in another person. But what I came to understand is that Femdom degradation is rather like impact play for the mind.

Many people don’t understand why someone would get satisfaction from experiencing different levels of physical pain. I’ve written about it extensively here, but in short, pain can be bracing, exhilarating, and even pleasurable for some people. The flood of endorphin with which the body responds in reaction to physical pain is intoxicating and potent. Also, intruding on a person’s physical security can be the only way they can reach subspace, a place of comfort and surrender. It can be tremendously cathartic. Femdom degradation can have the same effects, but the beating is sustained by the psyche rather than the flesh.

Femdom degradation coerces some into facing their deepest fears.

There’s another layer when the assault is psychological. Some of the deepest fears and insecurities people have about themselves are buried in the mind, rather than the body. Femdom degradation can be a kind of exposure therapy to these fears, insecurities, and compulsions. The more one is coerced to face them, to hear the indictment from another voice besides the one trapped in the confines of their own brain, the less potent it seems to become in reality.

Sometimes such a psychological assault can trigger a strengthening of self-preservation, the voice inside that says, “This is not true, what Mistress is saying.  Not really.  This is just play, as hard as it is to hear, and it’s no more a reflection of reality in My brain than it is when Mistress is saying it.  I don’t have to be afraid of this indictment anymore. I can endure the voice, and survive.”

Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169How do I prepare a Femdom degradation slave to minimize harm?

First, as with many types of D/s play, a sense of trust must be established between Myself and a submissive. Femdom degradation play is not the sort of thing I’ll delve into deeply with someone I don’t know or haven’t had the chance to speak with a bit outside of the playspace. I need to get the sense that the person with whom I’m speaking has a generally solid sense of self, that they aren’t depressed or mentally ill or malignantly self-destructive. If I’m not satisfied that this is the case, I won’t engage in Femdom degradation play.

Second, I insist on the articulation of boundaries, both theirs and Mine. A slave may say they have no boundaries, but I do. I’ve learned a lot about human nature over My time as a Femdomme, but I am not a psychiatrist, and there are some topics so heavy that I don’t believe I can ethically explore them in a phone sex session of any kind.

Safewords and Aftercare

Third, I insist on the development and use (if need be) of a safeword, and articulate My commitment to respecting it.

Last, I insist that Femdom degradation slaves do not hang up when they’ve reached their limit for the session, whether through orgasm or the safeword or simply fatigue. Even if all they do is breathe deeply with Me for a few minutes when they want to stay floating in subspace, if they simply hang up, I will not have the opportunity to do any sort of aftercare, and will worry that they are really emotionally injured. If they cannot commit to this, or at least to checking in with Me by E-mail or text later to assure Me that they are okay and simply prefer to lick their psychological wounds privately, I won’t do future sessions with them.

So now you know.Miss Rachel, for both Femdom degradation and aftercare! 1-800-356-6169

I hope this post has been edifying for some of you who were curious. I also hope that it informs those of you who may have been contemplating a Femdom degradation session with Me of what’s required, and where My boundaries lie.

If you are a submissive who seeks out degradation as part of your Femdom play, please feel free to weigh in in the comments regarding anything that particularly resonates with you in My post, and anything you may like to add.

All opinions are welcome, but kink-shaming is not, so as you comment, please be respectful, and understand that while you still may not relate to this particular kink, it’s not your place to judge those who do.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Miss Rachel, for Femdom degradation, and sensitive aftercare.

1-800-356-6169

25 comments to Femdom Degradation: Why?

  • Mark

    This is very intriguing! I’ve little experience and am uncertain that I’d be an ideal candidate for FemDom degradation, but I will certainly explore further because of this post. Thank you, Miss Rachel!

    • Rachel

      I’m glad you found the post interesting, Mark! Let Me know how your exploration turns out, or by all means, feel free to give Me a call! Don’t worry–I won’t attack! lol

  • Miss Rachel Femdom Degradation: Why? You ask? Because I’m a little sissy bimbo, cock sucking, dick slurping, cum guzzling, jizz swallowing little sissy faggot! .. that’s “Why!” ~sissy giggles~ 🙂

    sissy hugs & kisses,

    Bimbo XOXOXO

    • Rachel

      Of course you are, Bimbo! But that is an example of humiliation. I typed out an example of degradation to contrast, but since I didn’t have your permission to go there, I erased it. Consent is very important in Femdom degradation.

      • Miss Rachel permission granted! …. of course if You really want me to feel Degradation then just call me, “Late for Dinner!” ~sissy giggles~ 🙂

        • Rachel

          Well, okay Bimbo, but keep in mind that you know you are well-loved in the Empire. Do get in touch if I’ve hurt your feelings, but this is a good opportunity to show My readers the contrast between Humiliation and Degradation:

          If I were to say that you were a worthless scumbucket failure of a half-man who’s only good for draining the balls of those who aren’t failures at manhood like you, that you’re so depraved and perverted that you kiss the people you purport to love with a mouth that’s been used as a gloryhole sewer and is probably crawling with as many diseases as the aforementioned as a result, THAT would be degradation.

          • Tea Bag

            But Miss R, can You then follow up those words by saying “I’m actually very fond of you”?

          • Rachel

            Obviously, or I wouldn’t have said it.

            Does Bimbo make some choices I don’t condone? Yes. But it’s more out of concern for safety and the fact that he/r tastes and mine don’t necessarily sync up perfectly. But do I truly think s/he’s despicable for that? No. Because are any of U/s perfect? No.

            I’m sure I have many tastes Myself which someone, somewhere, would think were disgusting and reprehensible. We all do. I don’t kink shame if I can help it, except for a few things that I don’t consider kink, but the exploitation of entities who cannot give consent.

            But can I use that grain of truth to facilitate a degradation session if s/he would want one? Yes.

            If anyone had tastes or practices that truly made Me despise them, I wouldn’t be doing sessions with them of any kind, or really interacting with them at all, degradation-centered or not.

          • Tea Bag

            OK, thanks 🙂 I can’t bring myself to see degradation as SSC, though. It’s just the same as with the story of the first-time cuckold in Mistress Daphne’s blog, whom she quoted after the event as saying he was “sad for [himself]”.

          • Rachel

            Well, as I say, not everything is for everyone. Sometimes there’s no accounting for what reaches people to those it doesn’t reach.

            I haven’t read Miss Daphne’s post yet, but presumably the cuckold came to Her to explore. Maybe what he needed to find out through exploration is that it wasn’t for him.

            I think I also said in the post that to a certain degree, a submissive has got to be trusted (all rational amounts of vetting aside) to know themselves and their limits, or to take responsibility for it if they find a new limit and need to back away.

            Anyone of whom at least that can’t be expected isn’t ready for heavy kink exploration in the first place.

            Further, Miss Daphne practically wrote the book on aftercare. She is very loving with Her submissives, and I’m sure She made Herself available to work through what ever came up for that submissive after the scene.

  • Miss Rachel I would then say to You; “Thank You Goddess Rachel!” I would then sissy curtsy to You! I would Love it if You had me dressed up like a pretty little sissy slut, cock sucking, cum swallowing cum bucket, to be used by You for Your Goddess Pleasure saying such thing to Degrade me, as well as Humiliate me! ~sissy curtsy~ 🙂

    Miss Rachel I do Love both Humiliation & Desegregation! Being Degraded along with being Humiliated by an Absolutely Beautiful Intelligent, Powerful & Superior Goddess such as You are Miss Rachel is something I truly Love! ~sissy smiles~ 🙂

    The Girlfriend back in the 80’s, Her and one of Her older Sisters had me dressed in the Pink Baby Doll Nightie, wearing Bright Red Lipstick, Pink Blush & Purple Eye Shadow. They had me on my little sissy faggot knees sucking the BIG Cock of the Sisters Husband, as they took turns pushing my sissy faggot head up and down on His stiff throbbing cock, they kept yelling at me; “Admit it! You’re a faggot! Come on you fucking fucking bitch! Admit you’re a faggot and we’ll stop!” When I refused to, they kept pumping my head up and down on His cock, also slapping my face, reaching down squeezing and pulling my little sissy chestnuts & tiny little sissy clit! ~sissy blushes~ 🙁

    • Rachel

      Hahahahahahaha!!! Thank you for sharing, Bimbo! They sound like women after My own heart!

      Glad you’re no worse for the wear after serving as the subject of an example of the difference!

      • Miss Rachel You’re Welcome Goddess! ~sissy curtsy~ 🙂 I’m always willing to be of Service to You in Your Blogs! ~sissy smiles~ 🙂

        Then there was the time they dressed me the same way, had me on my little sissy faggot knees sucking on an Alpha Males cock, while they took turns pumping my sissy faggot head up and down on His stiff cock they were saying to me; “Oh Wow! Look at You! You look so pretty with that BIG cock in your pretty little mouth! Yes you do! You’re such a pretty gurl, with you pretty red lips wrapped around that BIG cock! That’s it! Keep sucking it! You’re such a good gurl!” While they (all 3) were giggling and laughing at me. ~sissy blushes~ 🙁

  • princess

    Yes, this sounds so right! Humiliating with a bit of degradation thrown in! I have always felt breaking down the ego….especially my male ego is essential for perfect service and submission….Great post!

  • Mistress Rachel!

    What a fantastic post. As a student of the mind, human and other an1mal behavior I am intrigued by those who participate, and request this type of play. For those interested in this kind of scene, or think they might be interested you should ONLY go to professionals. Degradation is a powerful tool, one which should be used with care.

    I appreciate as well as you do, the possible consequence of such play. The importance for pre play talk, aftercare and that trust.

    Again, fantastic post. See you around the Empire!

  • Mike

    This is a very interesting post and caused me to think a lot. I am not sure I totally get it but I have noticed some things. I have been humiliated/shamed for being small but it does, in fact feel way more shaming and humiliating when a woman connects the inadequacy to my over all low value and when she does it in a sort of real and natural manner. I am not sure this is part of that but when women truly mean what they say and there is a naturalness to the cruelty it is deeply connecting (while still be shaming) for me. So it is not “just” shaming me for being small endowed but connecting that issue to other issues. I always think that it is the realistic and honest (when the woman truly feels this way) that is most overpowering to me.

  • Emotions are amazingly complex. Who knows why one thing sexually excites one person while repulsing another. Trying to figure it out is impossible… just ask the bazillion psych experts who have studied human sexuality for eons.

    I struggle with degradation play and am now very glad to know that I can send folks to someone (Mistress Rachel) who holds the process delicately and respectfully. This post has helped me feel comfortable letting these calls go to her instead of trying to tackle them myself and feeling poorly about the call afterwards. I am just not cut out for degradation… do not criticize it in the least… it is MY issue, my OWN self-talk that gets in the way. It has a little to do with not wanting the person to REALLY feel like shit about themselves, but I think Ms. Rachel has a great handle on that.

    Regarding my Cuckold Post that TeaBag mentions, you took the comment out of context, TeaBag. The entire sentence reads:

    “Lots of things. Happy for her. Sad for me. Glad it’s over with. Excited for it again.”

    Why can’t someone be sad and happy at the same time? He did not seem to feel degraded… and we talked about the Scene a LOT for a long time, picking it apart and he believes his visceral reaction was the sadness, but that quickly passed and he and his wife continue with a part-time cuckold relationship… it being extremely satisfying to them both.

    Again, who knows why anyone gets turned on by what they do! We can sometimes point to the trigger, but many, many, we have no idea why we like what we like. Enjoying it, however it comes, is what we Mistresses encourage you to do.

    One more thing… thank goodness, in this point in time, we have outlets for our kinks and fetishes. In other times, people devised all sorts of contraptions and scenarios that hurt, maimed and killed them as they tried to fulfill their needs. We are blessed to be in a safer time… not that people don’t still struggle mightily; they do.

    This might have to be a blog post.

    • Rachel

      Thanks for stopping by, Miss Daphne, and for weighing in! Yes, you are absolutely welcome to send potential degradation pets to Me, but you might want to tell them that if I don’t know them, if W/e haven’t spent any time talking and getting to know each other either in a casual session or via E-mail, that I won’t engage in this kind of play with them, as per the post. A lot of people don’t care to take the time, but I insist on it. Perhaps that’s why I don’t DO many of these types of sessions.

      Funnily enough, you are comfortable with an aspect of degradation play that I am not, or at least *I* consider it part of degradation play–using racially-loaded terms!

      In any case, I will look forward to reading what ever post this conversation inspires!

  • Ms. Rachel,

    I will absolutely give them the Rules for Play… I admire you a million times more for your integrity in pre-Scene care.

    I know, isn’t it weird as all get out I can do Race Play?! I didn’t even think of it as degradation play, but you are absolutely right!!! Well, just open my eyes, dear friend!

  • Wes

    As usual you write and articulate your thoughts so well Miss Rachel. I’ve found myself wanting this type of play for a really long time.. The mindfuck of degradation and the way you can let someone else know these weak spots. Someone like you who has such a keen sense of how to excite and manipulate a submissive, well it’s one of your qualities that has drawn me into your world.. It’s as I’m sure you are aware, why I share small parts of myself around:)

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